Goodbye, Isa
by Reynutocx
Summary: -ONE SHOT- Saix is no longer Isa. He no longer has emotions. He's not Axel's friend. So, why does Axel still think so?


**Disclaimer: I do not own Kingdom Hearts**

 **AN: I wrote this at, like, three in the morning. I'm not really sure how good it is. My line of thought was something along the lines of "If Isa and Lea were friends, and Saїx and Axel are enemies, they probably had some kind of falling out before 358/2 Days." So, this is my interpretation of that…**

"Isa," Axel pleaded. "Isa, you need to stop this."

Saїx only frowned at him.

"I'm Saїx," he said. "I thought you'd grasped this."

"No!" Axel shouted. "You're Isa. I'm Lea. We grew up on Radiant Garden. You're 18. I'm 16. I wanted to be a keybearer when I was little, but you convinced my chakrams were cooler. Together we were going to be an unbeatable team. We were going to be remembered forever."

"I know all this," Saїx said. "There's no need to tell me."

"Then you know what happened next?"

Saїx nodded. "One night we snuck into Ansem's castle and went into his computer room. We found some kind of machine there. We went sure what it was, but before we could figure it out, we were thrown out of the castle. A few days after that, we were attacked by heartless I lost my heart, but you survived. I became a nobody. After a while, you did as well. Now we're both in Organization XIII. Our goal is to get hearts again."

"Can you say it was some emotion, Isa? You died! Isn't that a little important?"

"You know we don't have hearts."

"We used to." Axel said. "Just because we don't now doesn't mean that we don't remember how it used to be. Isa, the last thing I remember feeling was fear. I was terrified when the heartless attacked me. I wasn't ready like I thought I'd be. I wasn't used to being alone and I was scared, but you know what? I held on to that fear. I held on to all my emotions. They're all in here," Axel tapped his head "You want to know why? It's because I knew where I was going. I knew when I arrived, I wouldn't be able to feel anything, but I also knew I'd find you here. I was happy because we'd finally get to see each other again."

"Now how do you feel?"

"The same way."

"You're lying."

"I'm not."

"Axel, I know you want to believe that, but you can't. There is a reason we're trying to get our hearts back."

"I know that, Isa," Axel said. "But I think I still have some of my heart, or at least remember how it was to have it. I can still feel emotions sometimes."

"Why do you bother telling me this?" Saїx asked. He genuinely didn't understand why Axel was there in the first place. None of what he was saying was making sense. Isa might have understood, but Saїx couldn't grasp it.

"Because you're still my best friend."

Saїx looked at him questioningly. It was such a simple sentence, but it seemed out of place in The Land That Never Was.

"Why?"

Axel shrugged. "You just are. I'm not ready to throw everything we're ever been through away just like that."

"I don't understand."

"I don't think I can put it in simpler terms."

Saїx considered Axel for a second. "That's you're problem," he said finally. "You care too much and you're too devoted to others. In life it was always like that. You'd find someone you'd like and after that, you'd go to the ends of all the worlds to save them. Even now, you can't let go of that."

"It this meant to be a bad thing?"

"Yes. Our whole job is to be heartless," Saїx said. Axel had been a bad fit for The Organization. He'd always been a bit of a wild card, but now with his loss of emotions, Axel had somehow managed to gain more and, having no one to talk to about them, had begun spiraling out of control. Xemnas could barely control him anymore. He never seemed to focus on the big picture and instead fixated on one specific person or incident.

"Isa, I know you're still in there. You have to listen to me; you can't keep going with the construction of Kingdom Hearts. It's going to kill you. We'll find another way to get our hearts back, but please don't go through with this. I already lost you once. I don't want it to happen again. Can't you drop the big nobody act and just be my friend again?"

"Why?"

"I…because I miss you. You're the only family I still have, Isa."

Axel paused and looked hopefully at Saїx

Saїx knew that Isa would have said something at that. He would have felt something. He might have just laughed and made fun of Axel for being so open, but he would be happy. He would reassure Axel that he'd be ok. He might even abandon his mission and do as Axel suggested. He would've felt something. That was Isa. Saїx wasn't Isa. He felt nothing. No concern for his well-being. No love or even moral obligation to Axel. His goal was to get a heart as fast as possible. That was all he felt. A sense of purpose. He didn't understand emotions anymore.

"Isa died a long time ago," he said.

Axel's hopefully expression immediately faded. His shoulders slumped and he seemed to grow smaller. He looked down for a second and blinked rapidly. His forehead creased and he tightened his jaw. He almost seemed as if he was in physical pain. He stood in front of Saїx not saying anything. Saїx wondered if he'd broken Axel, but after a few seconds, the other boy seemed to mentally shake himself with great effort. "No, he's still in there somewhere," he said with finality.

Saїx sighed. Why was Axel still in denial? "What makes you believe that?" he asked.

"I have to," said Axel almost desperately. His green eyes were shining brightly and seemed extra big. "I have to believe there's still a way to save you."

"There isn't. The only way to fix this is to get a heart."

"You can't have a heart if you're dead!" he shouted.

That was it. Enough was enough.

"Grow up, Axel," Saїx said. "I was trying to be nice, but you don't have emotions anyway, I can't hurt your feelings. We are not friends. We have never been friends. I have no friends. You have no friends. No one in The Organization has friends. You do not have emotions. You cannot feel anger, sadness, joy, love. Your heart was taken and the only way to get a new one is to go along with this plan. I don't care how much you may or may not agree with it. Nothing is going to stop me from getting a heart, not even you. I am your superior and you will listen to what I say and you will do as I command you. You do not have a choice, and if you don't want to remain an empty shell all of your life, you will do what I tell you without question. I don't want to hear any more of your complaints. I don't care about them, and frankly, I don't have time for them."

Axel looked close to breaking down, but managed to keep himself together. Saїx was pretty sure his new lack of emotions was the only reason we wasn't crying now. Axel wasn't used to Saїx. He could take all the ribbing in the world from Isa, but it must have hurt him to see someone who looked so much like his friend tell him that he meant nothing to him.

"I'm glad we understand each other," said Saїx taking his silence as a yes. He turned to leave, but was stopped but Axel's voice. It was shaky, but strangely calm.

"Just because you told me something, it doesn't mean it's true."

Saїx didn't even turn around; he just walked out the door. It didn't matter that Isa had liked Lea. Saїx had no emotional connection to Axel, and he never would. He was only a potential threat to Saїx's goal, and he might have to be eliminated one day. None of that mattered in the grand scheme of things though. What Saїx needed to focus on right now was is goal. Only though achieving it, could he ever be happy.


End file.
